my very own little you  / Kelli (Sister)

Just the other day out of no where, My little Josh who is now 3, said to me, You know my uncle Josh, the one that died?  I was like ya, well Josh went on into this elaborate story about how he knew his uncle Josh long before he was even in my tummy, long before he was even a baby.  And how his uncle Josh had taught him all kinds of things, Especially that he needed to protect his mommy and his sister.  I know Joshy has a vivid imagination, but wow!!!  the whole conversation gave me chills. 

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HOOT / Kathy (MOM)

A year ago today your brother joined you my heart aches for both of you but in different ways. Hoot the year I spent taking care of you was the best and the worst year of my life. Even though I was at your side talking to you when your spirit left your body I still didnt even have time to say goodby. One minute you were talking to me the next you were gone, how could that happen so fast, we knew it was going to happen but we didnt know how or when. So I didnt get a chance to say good by to you or Ryan. I miss you so much. I love you goodby my sweet Hoot.  Love Mom

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My Promise  / Jenny (Companion)
I will always love you.
I will always be your girl.
I will always miss u -everyday.
I will always listen for your voice. 
I will always hear your laugh amoung others.
I will always dream of our travels.
I will always wish for our future.
I will always try and feel your presence, and try to
acknowledge that we will be together again, someday.
XOXOX

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Memorial for you  / For Josh
In may 2006 a room at the McCreery Cancer Center in Ottumwa, IA, was dedicated in memory of Josh.  This was made possible by his cousin Brandon, and his wife lisa.  Outsaid the room is a plaque with is name, and picture.  I it absolutely beautiful, and so very thoughtful of Brandon to do.  Close

poem / Kelli (Sister)

If tears could build a stairway
And memories a lane
I'd walk right up to heaven
and bring you home again

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stanza / Jeff (Brother)
And those brothers lost which equal two
unequal the world find in its indulgences, very few
As you lay together naked so close that you shall be one
With the hurling of the wind and the harvest moon
Your bones have been burnt clean and now they are gone
both of you look up towards the stars
though those that knew you go mad, they shall be sane,
Though there hearts sink through the sea, they shall rise again
Though lovers be lost, love shall not
For you two brothers death shall have no dominion Close

so scared  / Lil Sis
Just the other day I found myself in the ER, due to another migraine.  When the doctor told me he wanted to run some tests, this overwhelming feeling came over me, I was so scared.  It was only then that I realized just how scared you must have been that entire year you were sick.  You were so brave, I never realized how bad it must have felt inside to know you were fighting such a tough battle, that very few win.  I should have been there for you more, there were times I was a little too wrapped up in my own drama to give you 100%, But I want you to know that I did try.  I really did.  You will never know how mad I am at myslel still for not coming to see you that last night.  If I would have known, I would have came even though Brooklynn was cranky.  I thought I was helping you by keeping her away when she was all whiny, but that would have been the last time me and her would have seen you.  I honestly didn't think that night was going to be it, or I would have been there.  Can you believe that little peanut head is going to be 4 tomorrow?  Oh how I wish you could see her now. I love you Big Brother! Close

Waitng for time to kick in  / Big Sis (sister)
The infamous saying when dealing with a tragedy "Time heals all wounds" I am still waiting for some of the healing to begin, I know I could never forget you, but I still wonder when it will quit being so hard and so sad when I think of you. You were a great brother, nothing super extroidanary, but still wonderful. You loved me, you loved your neice/nephew and everyone knew this. I can remember so many experiences, the good the bad and the ugly. But always with a great fondness, but also a great sadness, that these are the final memories of your life and our times together. There will be no more. So I cling to my memories and pictures with all my heart, almost refusing to believe that this indeed is the end. So I miss you Josh, Im sad for me, for not having more time together, but Im sad for you. Sad your life was cut so short, I know you would have had a wonderful life, and our family many more memories. I miss you and I love you always. Close

Too Many Too's  / Kelli (Sister)

Too Many too’s

Too soon after we are born do we leave the innocence of our own brief childhood

To soon it seems we have to make our own decisions about what’s bad and good

Too soon, and too often we have moved when good friends have just been found

Too many minutes and hours have fallen too quickly like apples to the ground

Too soon the first love of our life is over in what then seemed to be an endless pain

Too fast our lives move like swift waters caused by a heavy torrential rain

Too soon it’s too bad when we learn in life we all have to do things we do not like

Too late in life we find out training wheel sonly come with your first Christmas bike

Too many words go unspoken too many deeds undone due to a lack of empathy in our hearts

Too many excuses and self-directed promises of tomorrow starts

Too many feelings that have been hurt, but have been sufficiently repaired

Too much pride and ego keeping us from telling the most loved that we care

I found this poem written my Josh's Dad. Close

My old friend  / To Josh

My old friend, I recall
The times we had hanging on my wall
I wouldn't trade them for gold
Cause they laugh and they cry me
Somehow sanctify me
Their woven in the stories I have told
And tell again

My old friend, I apologize
For the years that have passed
Since the last time you and I
Dusted off those memories
But the running and the races
The people and the places
There's always somewhere else I had to be
Time gets slim, my old friend

Don't know why, don't know why
Don't know why, don't know why

My old friend, this song's for you
Cause a few a few simple verses
Was the least that I could do
To tell the world that you were here
Cause the love and the laughter
Will live long after
All of the sadness and the tears
We'll meet again, my old friend

Goodbye, goodbye

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Josh, what a hero!  / Karen Pac (Rhabdomyosarcoma Enemy! )
To all of you who knew and loved josh-
I am so sorry for your loss. My son had the same dreadful disease. I pray for all of you. Rhabdomyosarcoma is such a demon of a disease, i know all too much about it.

Josh was and always will be one of my hero's. There is comfort in knowing that my son wasnt the only one who had this dreadful cancer.

Josh is where this is no more pain and only happiness. What a gift it must have been to have had him for the short but meaningful life here on earth.

Peace to all of you Close